


Stupid lockscreen

by deancas_ship



Series: SPN Season 12 codas / What could have happened [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x20, 12x20 Coda, Angry Dean Winchester, Cas loves Dean, Coda, Dean Loves Cas, Dean Needs A Hug, Dean Winchester Feels, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean needs his mom, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e20 Twigs and Twine and Tasha Banes, Hey Jude, Hurt Dean, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Mary comforts Dean, Mother/Son, Post-Episode: s12e20 Twigs and Twine and Tasha Banes, Sad Dean, Sad Dean Winchester, Season/Series 12, spn 12x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 21:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10953417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deancas_ship/pseuds/deancas_ship
Summary: Mary just discovered something, but she is also thinking about Dean's last message.Dean is worried for Cas. He needs to talk to someone.--------------What could have happened after the end of 12x20 if Ketch didn’t have that taser and Mary had escaped...





	Stupid lockscreen

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys !
> 
> (Please don't pay attention to the title XD I really suck at finding them...)
> 
> So, this is my second Oneshot, I hope it won't be a really bad work... XD  
> I think we can call this a Coda... It takes place after the end of the episode 12x20.
> 
> I was inspired by this [post](http://yourfavoritedirector.tumblr.com/post/160323655038/for-mishananigans-who-asked-for-casand-if-he%0A)
> 
>    
> I've had this idea of story in my head for a while now, and I finally decided to write it and share it...
> 
> I want to apologize for my English and my lack of vocabulary before you start reading because I'm French, so I don't really know how to write a story in English... XD

Mary didn’t know how she had won that fight. She had just kicked Ketch ass. Just like that. Maybe he really had feelings for her after all. Maybe he didn’t use all his power. But right now, Mary didn’t really care.

 

She was driving, thinking about all she saw in that room, on the screens. She was thinking about telling all of this to her sons. She actually called Dean to tell him that they had a problem. So now, she can’t hide what she discovered to them.

 

But there is something else that is playing in her mind. The message Dean left her on her voicemail. He sounded desperate. He sounded like he really needed to talk. To his mom. What she is. And she really hasn’t been a mom these days. She knows it. And she feels bad for it. Because she knows how Dean always needed to tell her everything when he was a little boy. Before she died.

 

Maybe she would just listen to her son tonight. Maybe what she discovered could wait until the morning. But, maybe not. After all, her sons lives are in danger.

 

She really doesn’t know what to do. She tells herself that she will decide when she will arrive at the bunker.

 

****************

 

Sam went to bed one hour ago already. But Dean couldn’t. He just couldn’t. With everything that happened these days, he couldn’t sleep. So he took a long and warm shower, in an attempt to relax. But it didn’t work. So he put on his AC/DC t-shirt and his black sweatpants, and he went back to his room.

 

He laid on his bed for a moment, an arm under his head, thinking about the twins. Once again, they failed. They couldn’t save Alicia, and they couldn’t save their mom either. And now, Max was alone. He had no family left, no one to lean on. And Dean knows how it feels.

 

He lost his mom first. And then, his dad. And then, his little brother. And more than once. And Lisa and Ben. Of course, they’re not dead. Not that he knows. But still, he doesn’t have them in his life anymore. And then he lost Bobby. And Kevin. And Charlie. And everyone he loved.

 

And now, he is afraid that he lost Castiel too. He’s not dead. But that guy who healed him the other night after he broke his arm, it wasn’t Cas. Not the Cas he knows. Not the Cas he…

 

He sighs and sits on his bed, pushing himself on his elbows. He crosses his legs, puts his elbows on his knees and takes his head in his hands. He rubs his slightly wet hair a few times, and then he lays his head in his palm and he sighs again. Cas… What the hell is he doing ?

 

He turns his head and finds his phone on his nightstand, where he left it before heading to the bathroom for a shower. He stretches out his arm to catch it and press the ‘home’ button.

 

The screen lights up to reveal the Men of Letters Logo but especially that he has no new message. No news from Cas. No news from Mom. She left a message saying they had problems. And no news. Great, another thing to worry about...

 

He stares at the screen for a few more seconds, maybe hoping that a new message will pop out. But nothing happens. When the screen goes black, Dean presses the ‘home’ button again. And he stares at the lockscreen. What a stupid lockscreen. He should change it. Maybe he could put a picture of Sam and himself. He’s sure he has some pictures like that saved in his phone. Or a family picture. With their Mom.  But no, he doesn’t have any picture of this kind.

 

Maybe a picture of him and Cas ? Wait, he doesn’t have that kind of picture either. Cas is not the kind of guy who takes selfies, even if Dean tried to insist. Then… Why not a picture of Cas ? He actually has pictures of Cas saved in his phone. He even created a file. It’s basically just pictures that he took when nobody could see him. Dean is pretty sure no one knows that he took them. He hopes no one knows. Who takes pictures of their best friend without telling them ? Oh, Dean this is so weird. What would be even more weird is to put a picture of your best friend as your lockscreen when you’re not supposed to have pictures of him. What if someone looks at your phone Dean ?

 

He sighs as he unlocks his phone. He opens the gallery app and looks for the file named ‘Cas’ in it. He opens the file and clicks on the first picture that appears on the screen. It’s the most recent one. He took it while they were drinking beers after Isham almost killed him. Killed them. After he said he was worried, he took out his phone and he had pretended to type a message to their Mom. But in reality, Sam was talking and Cas was listening to him and not paying attention to Dean. So Dean took advantage of it and took a picture. Oh Dean, this is not something that a mentally sane person would do...

 

And here he is, staring at a stolen picture of Cas on his phone. And he thinks. Why would cas believe in Lucifer’s child ? This makes no sense. He kept telling them that a nephilim is something dangerous. And the child of an archangel is even more dangerous. So, why this sudden change in Cas’s behaviour ? This freaking baby has brainwashed him. There is no other possibility. Cas would never choose Lucifer’s child over the Winchester, right ? They’re his family after all.

 

But does he really believe that they are his family ? They told him more than once. And Cas said it himself. And he said he loved them. He said he loved... No, Dean really needs to stop thinking about what Cas said in that barn when he was dying. He was _dying_. What if Cas is in danger ? What if he dies, again ? For real this time. No, Dean can’t think about that. It’s killing him.

 

Dean is still staring at the picture of Cas on his phone when the door of his room opens. Dean jumps in surprise and drops his phone. He makes a strangled noise as the phone falls on his bed, the screen facing the ceiling. He quickly turns his head to see who just opened the door. His eyes widen when he sees who is standing at the door.

 

“Mom ?”, he says in surprise.

 

And then he looks back at his phone on his bed. The picture of Cas is still on the screen. His Mom can’t see that. So he grabs his phone awkwardly, wincing when he almost drops it again in his precipitation. He presses the ‘home’ button and the ‘on/off’ button at the same time, which earns him a screenshot. He whines and presses the ‘on/off’ button again. The screen goes black. And he looks back at his mother with a (very) awkward smile.

 

“Hey Dean.”, she says with an interrogative look on her face, “What were you doing ? Am I interrupting something ?”, she asks as she frowns.

 

“Hum… no ! Nothing ! I was doing nothing. I’m fine.”, answers Dean in a breath, trying to hide his phone under the blanket half-folded at the bottom of his bed.

 

“Then why are you hiding your phone ?”, Mary asks as she points at where Dean just put his phone under the blanket, “I’m not interrupting a little ‘Dean time’, am I ?”, she asks, concerned.

Dean chokes and try to hide that behind a chuckle.

 

“Hmff… What ? Me ? Huh... No ? Why ?”, Dean says, blushing, “No… I was just… Huh… Nevermind. I didn’t hear you come. When did you arrive ?”, he asks, trying to change the subject.

 

Mary frowns. Dean knows she knows he lied. A Mom can always say when her child is lying. But she agrees on changing the subject. So Dean relax a little.

 

“I… I arrived a few minutes ago. I checked on Sam, but he was already asleep. So I decided to check on you.”, she says, slowly heading to the bed, “Are you okay ?”, she asks as she sits, facing Dean, paying attention at not sitting on his phone under the blanket.

 

“Yeah… Yeah I’m fine.”, Dean answers, running a hand through his hair, “What about you ? You said we had a problem ?”, he adds, looking up at his mother, a concerned look on his face.

 

“Yes. I discovered something at the British Men of Letters’ base…”, Mary answers, “I had a fight with Ketch…”, she adds, which makes Dean opens his mouth, “But it’s okay. We can talk about this tomorrow, with Sam.”, she finally says, placing a hand on Dean’s knee.

 

Dean stares at his mother for a few seconds, trying to decide if he should ask for more informations right now. But she would have to repeat everything for Sam. So he decides that it can wait. He then looks at her hand on his knee.

 

“Are _you_ okay ?”, Mary asks again.

 

Dean looks up to catch Mary’s stare. He nods.

 

“Dean, I got your message. The one in which you said you would like to talk because some things have got you ‘spun out’”, she says, mimicking the quotation marks.

 

Dean stares at his mother again, not knowing what to say. He was so worried for Cas when he called Mary that he let it out.

 

“Yeah… Huh… it’s nothing Mom.”, he says, looking away.

 

Mary sighs.

 

“Dean…”, she begins, “I may not have been around for the last thirty years, but I can still see when you’re hiding me something.”, she adds, trying to catch Dean’s look.

 

Dean finally looks at her. And he knows he has that ‘puppy eyes’ look on his face right now. He feels so sad and hurt that it can’t be otherwise. Mary gives him a sad smile.

 

“Dean, what happened ?”, she asks.

Dean thinks for a few seconds before deciding that he would sound so dumb if he told his Mom what was really bothering him.

 

“I… We-With Sam, you know I told you, we tried to help the witch twins.... But it was too late for their Mom and… then Alicia… We couldn’t save them. And Max is alone and-”, he says very quickly, looking away again.

 

Mary grabs one of his hands in hers and it makes Dean look at her again.

 

“Dean, you can’t save everyone.”, she says, with a sad smile again.

 

Dean nods.

 

“I know but…”, he begins, trying to hold the tears that are menacing to fall.

 

“But Dean, you said you wanted to talk before going to help the twins.”, Mary begins, “So, I don’t think you were talking about that in your message… Dean, you know, I’m your Mom. You can’t tell me everything.”, she adds, rubbing her thumb on his knuckles.

 

Dean looks back at her. He can feel the tears at the corner of his eyes. He stares at his mother for a minute. And she stares back, probably waiting for him to tell her everything. And when Dean feels the first tear fall down on his cheek, he cracks. More tears begin to fall, and he lets out a sob, and he sets his hand free from Mary’s to wipe his tears.

 

“Dean, tell me what happened.”, Mary begs, wiping some tears on his face with her thumb.

 

And Dean tells her everything. How he felt powerless when Cas killed Billie. How he felt angry after that, because Billie said it would have ‘cosmic consequences’. And how he actually felt more worried than angry after all. How he felt bad for not talking to Cas after that and how he felt bad when Cas thought _he_ was mad. How he felt powerless again and so worried when Isham tried to kill Cas. How he felt relieved when Lily Sunder arrived to save them. How he felt relieved when they were all back at the bunker after that. How he felt better when he wasn’t being rough with Cas anymore. How he felt powerless, once again, when Cas was stabbed and was dying in that barn. How he thought Cas would actually die in that barn. How he thought he could not handle Cas’s death, again. How he felt so relieved when Cas didn’t die. How he knew something was wrong with Cas when he called him after a case. How he was worried when Cas wasn’t answering his phone. How he felt mad at him for not answering his phone. How he spent days and nights searching for him by checking the news and the deaths. How his worry kept growing when Cas didn’t answer for weeks. How he felt relieved when saw him appearing at the door a few days ago. How he felt mad at him, again, when Cas told them he has been working with angels. How he thought Cas would stay with them after that and everything would be find and they would go ‘Team Free Will’. How he felt betrayed when Cas ran away, again, and with the Colt. How he felt mad when Cas wasn’t answering his phone again. How he felt relieved, again, when they found him with Kelly and they had an idea to stop Lucifer’s baby. How he felt worried when Kelly ‘kidnapped’ Cas with the Impala. How he thought Dagon was going to kill Cas. How he didn’t know how to feel when Cas actually burnt Dagon. And finally, how he felt scared when Cas said he had faith in this baby. And how he felt mad and worried at the same time when he woke up after Cas knocked them out.

 

Dean had said all of this, more tears falling and sobbing as he talked. And Mary has been listening, never interrupting him. When Dean finally stops talking, he looks back into his mother’s eyes, seeing all blurry because of the tears in his eyes.

 

“So, you felt bad all this time. And only because of Castiel ?”, Mary asks after a minute of silence.

 

Dean nods, more tears falling.

 

“I understand.”, Mary says.

 

“Really ?”, Dean asks, snuffling.

 

“Yes. But can you please stop rubbing your thumb with your other thumb ?”, Mary asks, pointing at Dean’s hands on his lap, “Your hand is so red it looks like it’s burning.”, she adds.

 

That’s when Dean notices. He has been rubbing his thumb during his whole speech. He hasn’t even noticed before Mary mentioned it. She takes his hands in hers to make him stop.

 

“That’s where he touched me for the last time…”, Dean says, chuckling and snuffling again.

 

He feels ridiculous now. He chuckles again, as more tears fall down his cheeks.

 

“I know it’s stupid… But-But I think I can still feel his touch…”, he adds.

 

Mary wipes some tears from his face and smile.

 

“No Dean. It’s not stupid.”, she says, “It’s love.”, she adds, rubbing his cheeks.

 

Dean chuckles and frowns. What is she talking about ?

 

“What ?”, he asks, “No-I’m-I’m not-”, splutters, confused.

 

Mary smiles and rolls her eyes.

 

“Dean, don’t freak out.”, she says, “I didn’t say you’re ‘in love’, I just said ‘love’.”, she adds with a chuckle.

 

Dean feels himself blush.

 

“Oh… yeah… I, huh… yeah I know.”, he says, looking away.

 

“And, don’t you dare tell me you don’t love him.”, Mary adds.

 

Dean looks back at her, blushing a little more.

 

“I mean, I’ve seen how you act around him. And how he acts around you. You love each other and you can’t tell me otherwise.”, Mary says.

 

Dean chuckles and looks away. Now he feels very embarrassed.

 

“Yeah… You’re probably right.”, he says, almost in a whisper.

 

“Now, I just don’t know what kind of love it is. I don’t know if you see Castiel as a brother, as a friend… or more. And I won’t ask. The most important is that _you_ know.”, Mary adds, rubbing his cheek.

 

Dean looks back at her and bits his lips. He feels so embarrassed to have this conversation with his mother. But he also feels so much better now he told all of this to someone. And he knows he couldn’t have told that to Sam. Even if Sam has always been a confident, he couldn’t tell him _this_.

 

Mary suddenly smiles again.

 

“Come here.”, she says, opening her arms.

 

Dean smiles and accepts the hug. He feels so safe in his mother’s arms. It’s warm and soft. He hides his face in her neck, breathing her scent.

 

“There is something you forgot in your little story…”, she suddenly says.

 

Dean frowns, confused.

 

“What ?”, he asks, not knowing what Mary is talking about.

 

“Well… You didn’t tell me how you felt jealous when this waitress flirted with Castiel at the restaurant…”, she says, with a teasing look.

 

Dean blushes again. What is his mother implying ?

 

“Huh… What ?”, he asks, with a nervous chuckle.

 

Mary laughs.

 

“Yeah, you were expecting the waitress to flirt with you. Not him.”, she answers.

 

Dean sighs in relief.

 

“Oh… yeah, sure.”, he says with a timid smile.

 

“You underestimate the charm of your friend, Dean…”, she adds, laughing.

 

Dean laughs.

 

“Yeah… maybe…”, he says in a whisper.

 

Dean then closes his eyes and lets himself get rocked by his mother. After a few minutes, he feels very tired. He yawns. Mary smiles. She lays a kiss on his forehead.

 

And she starts to sing. Dean smiles when he recognizes ‘Hey Jude’ and he lets himself fall asleep in his mother’s arms. Just like he used to do when he was a little boy.

 

  
_THE END_

**Author's Note:**

> So, did you like this Oneshot ?  
> A comment would help me ;)
> 
> I also write a story, with chapters and all... Read it [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10053113/chapters/22399790) ! ;)
> 
> And this oneshot is a part of a serie, don't hesitate to check my first oneshot ;)
> 
> \--------------  
> [ My Instagram ](https://www.instagram.com/deancas.ship/)  
> [ My Twitter ](https://twitter.com/deancas_ship)  
> [ My Tumblr ](https://www.cas-angel-of-dean.tumblr.com)  
> 


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